


Icing

by jazsy



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-01
Updated: 2012-01-01
Packaged: 2017-11-19 23:00:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/578563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jazsy/pseuds/jazsy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It starts off innocently (okay, the ship is run by young geniuses who get easily bored while traveling through the space version of North Dakota, so it isn't exactly innocent, but it's innocent enough).</p>
            </blockquote>





	Icing

**Author's Note:**

> If you're not familiar with the concept of "icing", it is a completely juvenile, frat-boy concept in which, at any sort of social gathering, Person A can approach Person B and present them with a Schmirnoff Ice (or any other malt beverage), and they have to take a knee and shotgun it right there. However, in the event that Person B already has a Schmirnoff on their person, they can turn it around on Person A, who has to take a knee and shotgun both. 
> 
> laulan threw down the gauntlet and said she wanted Trek!Icing fic. And I delivered. So! here it is, magically delicious, mostly gen with a line of K/S.

It starts off innocently (okay, the ship is run by young geniuses who get easily bored while traveling through the space version of North Dakota, so it isn't exactly innocent, but it's innocent  _enough_ ). Sulu appears next to Scotty one day in Rec Room 3 and hands him a replicated bottle of retro Schmirnoff ice. When Scotty takes the bottle, Sulu gleefully informs him that he's been "iced" and has drop to one knee and down the whole bottle as fast as he can.  
  
Scotty, never being one to back down from a challenge involving physics, alcohol, or sandwiches, does so, ending by slamming the bottle onto the floor and grinning in victory as everyone cheers. He then tries to stand up and immediately decides lying down on the floor is a much better idea.  
  
Sulu stands over Scotty's prone form and explains the rules of Icing. As he finishes, he realizes there might possibly be a rule or regulation against shotgunning malt beverages at the drop of a hat, so he looks to the table where Kirk, Spock, Uhura, and McCoy are sitting. McCoy has that put-upon-babysitter look he gets when he realizes how young and dumb the other kids are; Uhura looks like she thinks the whole thing is stupid but entertaining (she had the same look when they watched that old movie  _The Hangover_ ); Spock is expressionless, but it doesn't radiate any kind of disapproval; Kirk just laughs and says the bridge is off limits and that someone should make sure to write down these rules in case (by which he means, before) things get ugly.  
  
And that's about when things get ugly. Having been given Mommy and Daddy's Approval of These Shenanigans, almost everyone jumps in with both feet (and those who don't are the first to be iced, which means they then join in for revenge).   
  
The game quickly evolves from Drunken Frat Boy to Mafia Hit Man as the icing strategies get more elaborate and fiendish. Scotty reprograms replicators to produce Schmirnoff when asked for toast. Chekov creates countdown clocks that pop up on Sulu's navigational screens and PADDs, keeping him looking over his shoulder and lying awake at night. Kirk fakes an allergic reaction to Andorian corndogs to get McCoy into Sickbay, where Christine is waiting just inside the door (McCoy gets Kirk back by stabbing him with an antihistamine hypo anyway).  
  
It's unanimous that Uhura is far too scary to be taken on, so she is named Official Schmirnoff Commissioner and Keeper of the Ice Laws. There are trials.  
  
Nobody attempts to ice Spock for a long time simply because they think it would be useless, since alcohol doesn't affect him in the same way it does the other crew members. This lasts until Kirk loudly mentions that a small bottle of chocolate liqueur is statistically likely to have the same effect and the laws should be amended so Spock won't be excluded.   
  
Uhura agrees and the glare Spock sends Kirk tells everyone  _exactly_  who will be bottoming that night.  
  
Kirk, due to his participation in questionable activities in his youth, manages to escape an icing for a significant period of time. However, a) there is one person that Kirk would never suspect; and b) the crew is not above bribing said person in order to ice their captain.  
  
Kirk finds it strange that the bridge is so empty when he arrives, and he's about to comm someone when Spock's calm voice comes through instead.  
  
"Captain, your presence is required in Lab 7 immediately."


End file.
